


The Trouble with Karkat

by Amazing_E_ko



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Glasses, written for the kink meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-26
Updated: 2012-10-26
Packaged: 2017-11-17 02:20:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amazing_E_ko/pseuds/Amazing_E_ko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a kinkmeme prompt. Karkat needs glasses, and Jade has reasons for meddling. Pure self-indulgent fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trouble with Karkat

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a slightly polished version of what I posted before. Based on a prompt that wanted a fic drawn from this  
> picture: http://pootles.tumblr.com/post/31381962357/i-guess-i-have-a-headcanon-that-karkat-has-always. It was my pleasure to write, and since I was happy with it, I thought I'd claim and repost.

Jade has had glasses for as long as she can remember. They're so much a part of her that she doesn't even notice them any more. She's gotten used to being unable to look out of the corners of her eyes properly, gotten used to the feeling of the world held within a wire circle. Sometimes she forgets she's wearing them, and does something silly like step into the shower, and only realises her mistake when a spray of drops hits the lenses.

Still, it can be a relief to take them off all the same, the release of pressure so continuous it had become completely unnoticable. She does that now, while she's waiting for this stupid email to load, rubbing her nose and behind her ears. It feels good to have her head so weightless, and she leaves them off while she checks her mail, hunching forward and squinting at the screen. _Dear Ms. Harley, I can happily inform you that your paper on Quantum Chromodynamics has been accepted..._

She stops, holds her posture and examines it from the inside out. It's ringing bells in her head, and she can't pin them down until all of a sudden she does. This is how Karkat always sits when he's on the computer.

The minute she thinks it she wishes she hadn't. It's a reminder of how much she watches him, and she doesn't like to think about that. After her relationship with Davesprite, she'd promised herself she'd take a break from boys, and she honestly felt like she was doing pretty well. And above all she’d decided to stay away from obnoxious boys who hid their emotions with irritating facades of irony or anger. Jade, it seems, is not very good at keeping her own promises.

"WHY ARE YOU BLUSHING AT YOUR COMPUTER, HARLEY? HAS YOUR UTTER IDIOCY EXTENDED TO INVENTING HEATED REDROMS WITH ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT?"

Jade hadn’t even heard him come in. She stiffens, and then rolls her eyes.

“geez karkat, im blushing because i just got a letter full of the nicest things!” It’s not even a lie, so she doesn’t feel awkward saying it. Then she gets an idea. “why? cant you read what it says?”

“DON’T BE RIDICULOUS HARLEY I CAN READ PERFECTLY.” He begins to lean forward and Jade holds out a hand to stop him.

“read it from there.”

Karkat stares at her like she’s gone insane, then shrugs.

“I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR INANE SHIT JADE. YOUR IDIOTIC BROTHER WANTS ME TO PLAY SOME INCREDIBLY SHITTY GAME WITH HIM.”

He walks off in a cloud of grump and huff, and Jade reflects that the trouble with Karkat is that he might always just be being a huge asshole.

***

Still, she feels like it wasn’t just irritation. If there’s one thing she knows about Karkat, it’s that he loves to argue. He’s been known to contradict himself just to keep an argument with her going, and then devolve the argument into one about whether or not he really contradicted himself. Walking away the way did he strikes her as odd. But she doesn’t know enough about Troll culture to pin it down on her own.

Enter the ever-helpful Kanaya.

"Jade, Is Something Wrong?"

"no. well, not exactly! i was just wondering about something, and it seemed like you were the person to ask."

"Of Course, If I Can Be Of Any Use Then I Would Be Happy To Answer Your Questions."

"great! i couldn't help noticing that none of you guys wear glasses, and i thought it was kind of odd, and then i figured maybe it was a cultural thing, but i wasn't sure-"

Kanaya, to her credit, very patiently explains that no troll would ever wear glasses, because weak eyesight is a potential marker for culling. Glasses weren't even a thing, on Alternia, unless they were sunglasses. She gets edgy pretty quickly, and Jade lets her hang up after a minute. None of the Trolls like talking about culling, even now, and Jade can’t exactly blame them.

Besides, she’s feeling smug about being right, and she wants to savour that. She allows her mind to wander, proposing plans and discarding them, figuring out how exactly to get Karkat to wear glasses.

***

It’s been a week, and she hasn’t come up with anything good. This is irritating. Eventually Jade’s meagre store of patience runs out, and she ambushes Karkat while he’s lounging in her sitting-room. He comes over a lot, insisting that it’s simply because her house gets better wifi. This is a blatant lie, but Jade doesn’t mind. She likes having him around.

He’s typing up something – an essay? an email? – on his laptop when she sneaks up behind him, her glasses in her hands. The world has faded to a blur of indistinct shapes with blurrier outlines, but she already knows where everything is. Without giving him a chance to react, Jade leans over and drops her glasses onto Karkat’s nose.

His reaction is electric. He jerks backwards and flails wildly, almost knocking them off his head. Jade simply pins his hands to his side, using her position to trap them firmly there.  
“JEGUS FUCK HARLEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR LAST TINY DROP OF COMMON SENSE? WHAT, DID YOU GET INTO AN ALCHEMIZER ACCIDENT AND REPLACE IT WITH THE NEED TO PLACE REALLY UGLY ORACULAR LENSES ON PEOPLE’S FACES? IS IT SOME WEIRD BARKBEAST INSTINCT SURFACING IN YOUR TINY MIND? THE “BE A SHIT TO KARKAT” ONE?”

“calm down fuckass!” She presses more of her weight on his wrists and he goes oddly still. “i just want to know if they make anything better. and for all our sakes can we pretend that weve already had the argument about whether or not you need glasses in the first place? it will make your life sooo much simpler.”

Karkat doesn’t try to escape her grip, which can only be a good thing, and his voice is oddly quiet when he replies, which Jade files away for later examination.

“I SUPPOSE THEY DON’T MAKE THINGS WORSE, AT LEAST. IT COULD BE MANY TIMES MORE HORRIFIC AN EXPERIENCE THAN IT ALREADY IS, IS WHAT I’M STRESSING HERE. BUT THEY’RE WEIRD. THEY MAKE THE WORLD LOOK ALL LIQUID AND RUNNY.”

“the prescription is too strong,” Jade says, nodding. “that makes sense. if your eyesight was as bad as mine it would be much more noticeable.”

She lets him up and takes her glasses back, and already misses how close they just were. Karkat shrugs his shoulders a few times and leans back in towards the screen, his face in its usual grumpy frown.

“i have to go and get my prescription redone next week,” Jade says, though this is not technically due for another six months. “youre coming with me.”

“I’M SORRY? WHAT ON EARTH POSSESSES YOU TO THINK THAT I WOULD BE IN ANY WAY AMENABLE TO ALLOWING ANYONE TO BEFIT ME WITH ORACULAR LENSES AS UGLY AND UNBECOMING AS YOURS? THERE IS NO WAY I AM LETTING MYSELF FALL INTO THE ENDLESS PIT OF DWEEB YOU AND EGBERT SEEM SO INTENT ON FULLY EXPLORING.”

Jade moves around and flops onto the sofa next to him, already settling in for a long argument. And it’s not that she even minds, but she can’t figure out how sincere this particular argument is. The trouble with Karkat is that he might always just be being a huge asshole.

***

He comes with her in the end. Karkat might go on and on (and on and on and on) about his leadership qualities and his will of iron, but he always seems to cave when Jade really wants something. She’s made getting around him into a fine art.

It’s a lovely day in early summer, hot but not oppressively so, and with a light breeze that lifts Jade’s hair up and fans it out behind her head. Her ears twitch back and forth, picking up stray sounds from every angle. She and Karkat bicker amiably about nothing very much while they walk. They don’t hold hands, they don’t even stay particularly close together, but Jade still has to take the part of herself giggling about dates and stuff it into a tiny box in the back of her head. She’s really trying to be sensible about this.

Karkat almost bails at the door of the Opticians, but Jade is having none of it, and drags him bodily inside. The woman behind the counter is a little startled, though whether it’s by Jade and her ears, or the sight of a Troll in her shop, or by Karkat’s venomous swearing is really debatable. Jade doesn’t let any of it phase her, and confirms their appointment with a smile. Then it’s all over bar the waiting.

Jade’s test takes very little time, and only confirms that her eyesight hasn’t deteriorated since the last one, though that is a relief. She kicks her heels and looks at the men’s range while she waits for Karkat to come out. Which he finally does, looking slightly abashed and very annoyed.

“MINUS TWO AND MINUS THREE, WHATEVER THOSE MEAN,” he says, gesturing to his left and right eyes in turn.

“Uh, we recommend getting glasses right away,” the optician butts in, very hesitantly. She was obviously on the receiving end of Karkat’s most elaborate invectives.

“thats a great idea!” Jade says, silencing Karkat with a look. “well just have a look around.” She jerks her head at Karkat, and they begin to meander among the shelves.

“I WON’T WEAR ANYTHING THAT MAKES ME LOOK ANYTHING LIKE THAT FUCKNUT GOOF YOU CALL A BROTHER. AND IF YOU EVEN TRY TO GIVE US MATCHING GLASSES YOUR BODY WILL BE UNCOVERED MONTHS FROM NOW, WASHED UP ON A DISTANT BEACH.”

“oh my god, stop being such a baby and start looking for something youll like!”

It takes them almost an hour to decide on a style. Jade kind of wishes Kanaya were there, because there is no one like Kanaya either for fashion or for getting Karkat to behave himself, but she also likes that it’s just them, so maybe she doesn’t wish too hard. And there are a couple of moments where it crosses her mind that maybe she’s not the only one feeling like this. She doesn’t give that thought any space to grow, though. If she’s wrong it would be embarrassing, and if she’s right, well then she wants some more time to figure out what it might mean. And either way it’s easy to be distracted, trying to pick out a frame that she and Karkat can agree on.

At last they settle on a pair of half-moon spectacles that Karkat considers distinguished and that render Jade silent for an awfully awkward minute. He is just too cute with them on. They bring them up to the counter and get told to come back tomorrow, somewhat to Jade’s disappointment. She wants to see how he feels when he puts them on. But then, when they’re parting ways, he asks her to come back with him to pick them up, and a little bubble of happiness grows and shivers inside her chest. His actual words are “SINCE THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT ANYWAY, HARLEY, I’M EXPECTING YOU TO BE THERE TOMORROW TO TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY”, but Jade can’t really bring herself to care.

The trouble with Karkat is that sometimes he is not just a huge asshole.

***

“JADE, JADE I CAN SEE EVERYTHING.”

They are standing in the park near the opticians, and Karkat is just moving around, _looking_ at everything. Jade sits on a nearby park bench and looks at him looking, and the little bubble of happiness in her heart expands to a golden fountain.

“I DON’T THINK I EVER REALISED TREES HAD SO MANY LEAVES. THEY’RE SO SHARP. AND CLOUDS. DID CLOUDS ALWAYS HAVE SUCH DEFINED LINES?”

Jade tries to turn her giggle into a cough, but it doesn’t really work, and the sound brings Karkat back to himself.

“DON’T GET ME WRONG, HARLEY. JUST BECAUSE IT IS MAYBE A LITTLE, MINISCULE BIT COOL TO BE ABLE TO SEE SHIT DOESN’T MEAN I’M OK WITH THE SNEAKY, MEDDLING, CONNIVING WAY IN WHICH YOU CONNED ME INTO GETTING THESE ORACULAR LENSES. AND EVEN IF THEY ARE A BILLION TIMES MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN EITHER YOURS OR EGBERT’S, AND MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A MORE DISINGUISHED TROLLIANA JONES, DOESN’T MEAN I’M IN ANY WAY GRATEFUL TO YOU.”

“ugh would it kill you to just say thank you? not that i really care, but it might be a good learning experience. lesson 101 on how to interact with the world without being a total douche at every waking moment.”

Karkat has moved into the path of the sun, and Jade has to shade her eyes to look at him. She’s partway to being actually annoyed when he freaks out.

“JADE THERE’S A MARK ON MY GLASSES. I CAN’T SEE. THEY’RE ABSOLUTELY AND TOTALLY RUINED FOREVER. WHAT DO I DO?”

Jade stands up and looks at the lens. It’s just a fingerprint, and she can’t help sniggering, but she hooks off his glasses anyway and huffs on them, rubbing the dirty lens with her skirt.

“you shouldnt use rough or scratchy fabric on the lenses, ok, but anything else will do if you need to clean them quickly. and breathing on the lenses helps take the dirt off. some people prefer to wash them under a tap, but i never bother with that. it takes waaayyyy too much time.”

She finishes cleaning them and puts them back on his nose. It is at this point that she realises how close they are and how quiet he is. She stops, her hands still hovering beside his head, and for a long moment neither of them moves.

“jade! karkat!”

John’s voice rings out across the lawn, and Jade jumps back a pace. She’d invited him, because Karkat in glasses was too adorable not to share with the world, but she can’t help cursing his timing. There was something there. She’s almost certain of it. And now it’s gone.

John is absolutely enamoured of Karkat’s new look, and goes off on a massive rant about how cool and useful glasses are, and by then the rest of the Trolls and kids are showing up, turning the rest of the day into an impromptu picnic, and whatever it was that Jade felt in that moment is lost beneath a stream of chatter and laughter and teasing.

Worse still, Karkat is ignoring her, and she honestly can’t fathom which of the many possible reasons is the most likely. But it’s probably that the trouble with Karkat is he might always just be being a huge asshole.

***

Jade skips out on the picnic a little early, pleading exhaustion and a paper review, and flees to the solitude of her house. She makes herself a pot of tea and goes out to the conservatory. The buddleia is in bloom, filling the room with a heavy scent, and the glossy sheen of the white orchids in the evening light is beautiful. Jade can feel herself relaxing already.

Then the knock comes, not on the front door but on the glass panes of the conservatory. She looks over her shoulder, tensing and curious, and Karkat is frowning at her through his new glasses.

“come in!” Jade injects more perkiness into her voice than she really feels, adds a smile, and watches Karkat shuffle into the room, the orange light glinting off his lenses.

“SEE THE THING IS IF I WERE TRYING TO BE SMOOTH OR MAYBE IF I WAS JUST A REALLY SHITTY ASSHOLE LIKE AMPORA I’D SAY SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF “THESE NEW GLASSES HAVE MADE ME SEE EVERYTHING SO MUCH MORE CLEARLY”, BUT THEN I’D HAVE TO GAROTTE MYSELF WITH MY OWN INTESTINES.” His hands twist over each other, back and forth, and Jade waits desperately for this to make the sense she wants it to make. “AND ANYWAY IT’S NOT EVEN TRUE. I’VE SORT OF BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR A REALLY LONG TIME, AT LEAST IN BETWEEN ALL THE MOMENTS WHEN YOU’RE JUST REALLY ANNOYING.” He pauses, scratches his head. “NO, WAIT, I DIDN’T MEAN THAT. I DON’T ACTUALLY THINK YOU’RE ANNOYING. I LIKE ARGUING WITH YOU, SURE, BUT THAT’S BECAUSE YOU CAN GIVE AS GOOD AS YOU TAKE WITHOUT BEING A TOTAL DOUCHE ABOUT IT THE WAY STRIDER IS. AND I GUESS WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY IS THAT I MAYBE HAVE SOME DARK RED FEELINGS FOR YOU AND I WOULD QUITE LIKE TO TAKE THAT IN A MUTUAL DIRECTION.”

All the feelings Jade has been locking up in her head have broken out and are throwing a full-scale party, complete with dips and streamers, and she has to move slowly, to stop herself shaking. But move she does, standing up and taking Karkat’s hand.

“wow. wow. that was… that was the shittiest confession i have ever heard!”

“FUCK YOU HARLEY MY CONFESSION WAS AWESOME. YOU’RE JUST…”

Jade does not get to hear what finely crafted insult Karkat was undoubtedly about to lambast her with, because she decides she’s had enough and just kisses him. It turns out to be a spectacularly good idea, and the next several minutes kind of blur into each other, but she has to breathe at some point, and so eventually they break apart.

“mmm…” Jade sighs and buries her head against Karkat’s shoulder. He pets her ears.

“FOR THE RECORD, JADE, I REALLY CAN SEE HOW PRETTY YOU ARE MUCH MORE CLEARLY WHEN I WEAR THESE THINGS.”

The trouble with Karkat is that sometimes he’s just about her favourite person in the whole world.


End file.
